Mental health experts have said that a high population will start to suffer mental health problems because of the lockdowns that have been enforced globally. Some individuals live on their own, and their workplace was their opportunity to interact with other people.

Does every year seem to turn out just the same as the last? Do you keep setting the same goals without realising much progress? You might have a genuine reason for not meeting your goals. However, if you’re going through this year after year, you’re probably just making excuses.

We can always come up a reason not to follow our dreams, not to take action or not to go the extra mile. Our reasons seem valid. We have this amazing ability to justify why we can’t do something – especially to ourselves. We convince ourselves of almost anything; we’re just being smart, responsible and realistic.

I’ll give an example of weight loss goals. Let’s say you’ve decided to lose a couple of pounds throughout the year. You’ve written down your goals and even broken them down to S.M.A.R.T (Specific Measurable Achievable Realistic and Time-bound) goals but 5 months into the year, there’s no progress. You haven’t even taken a walk around your neighbourhood.

Here are a few common excuses:

1. I don’t have time to exercise

My response: Erm, actually you do. How about trading in some of that social media scrolling time?

• I can’t afford gym membership fees

My response: Gurrl please, take the stairs instead of the lift! Also, the internet is awash with several free workouts you can do at home without any equipment.

• I’m too tired to exercise at the end of a long day

My response: Incorporate exercise in your daily routine, for example, walk to work or park your car farther from your office building. If you’re a mom, make it a fun activity to enjoy with the kiddos.

• I never lose any weight anyway

My response: That’s probably because you always give up too soon. Be consistent and wait for results. If you’re obese/overweight and not losing any weight with a healthy diet and exercise, see a doctor.

Whether your goal is making x amount of money in your business, learning a new skill or spending more time with your significant other, beware of making excuses for your lack of progress. Figure out what you need to reach your goals and take action. I’ve made a couple of excuses over the years, sometimes convincing myself that they were genuine reasons.

John Maxwell observes that leadership is taking responsibility while others are making excuses. It’s about time you stopped making excuses and started taking responsibility. At the end of each day, think about your goals for the day. Have you met each of them? If you haven’t, think about why. Is your reason genuine or is it an excuse? What action are you going to take to push you to the next level?

When the Corona virus first made headlines, no one expected it to get to the point where life as we know it would come to a screeching halt. You can’t go to the mall like you used to. You can’t visit your folks like you want to. An ordinary cough or sniffle causes an alarm, and rightly so. Every decision you make is a matter of life and death and must be carefully calculated, from what you touch to where you go.

As the reality of this situation has sunk, I’m learning new lessons every day –as I suppose everyone else is, as well. As human beings, we throw around the words, ‘life is short’ or ‘you’ll never know what you have until it’s gone’.

This usually happens subsequent to a sudden tragedy. After the tragedy passes, life goes back to normal (sort of) and we forget those popular phrases. The current circumstances are a lot different from a sudden tragedy. You know there’s a fatal illness hovering around, you can’t tell where it will hit from and you don’t know when. You might be safe in your house, but what about your relatives and friends out there? You can’t really tell.

Sadly, people have lost their lives, several businesses are closed and some people have lost their jobs permanently. Although this pandemic comes with severe negative consequences, here’s what I’m thankful for:

1. Technology

I’m thankful that most of us around the world are still able to communicate with the people we love, near and far. Even though we can’t be with them, we can talk and laugh over the phone and on video chat. Some individuals are able to carry on with their businesses, jobs, classes, church services and conferences online thanks to the various platforms. Imagine what it would be like if we couldn’t do this!

2. Quality Time

It might not have been planned to spend this time with the people we love, but the lock-down is a great opportunity. I’ve spoken to a couple of parents who say they’re learning a lot about their own children. The hustle and bustle of life could not allow them to slow down and listen or observe. Parents are getting creative and taking part in daily activities with their children and each other. Isn’t this a blessing?

3. Faith in God

While some patients are reported to have been cured from the virus, others haven’t been this fortunate. The information spreading about the virus is in some cases contradictory. The bottom line is, no one really knows what the outcome of a particular patient or the pandemic as a whole will be. As a result, fear has gripped many of us.

Only God is all-knowing. This has led faithfuls to put their faith in Him. At first I was fearful but now I’m exercising my faith in God because I can’t do anything else. All the tragic news and fearful facts flying around make this difficult. Therefore it’s a process I must start over every day. If you ask me, having faith amidst trials beats being gripped by fear.   

Be wise, take all the precautions and keep your faith up!

What would stop a woman from marrying a man she loves from a ‘different’ tribe or race? What would stop you from leaving the job you hate to pursue the career of your dreams? What would make a man dive into debt so that he can drive the 2020 Jeep Wrangler? To what extent are your decisions determined by what someone else thinks?

Our innate need for approval has convinced us that other people’s recognition of us improves our self-worth and value. What we fail to see is that this same approval from friends and family also cripples us and limits us from reaching our full potential, being happy and having a peaceful authentic life.

If the need for approval is natural, you might be wondering why it’s a bad thing. The real problem creeps in when you see other people’s approval as your only way of being fulfilled. The truth is that it only keeps you under the control of their opinions and makes you resentful.

Let’s say someone in your life kept crossing the line and taking you for granted. You don’t want to speak up because you might offend them, but you keep growing resentful because it’s getting out of hand. You keep thinking, ‘they should know better.’ Who’s at fault here? The one who continuously (maybe even unknowingly) crosses the line? Or you who didn’t speak up?

Approval addicts are always trying to protect other people’s feelings at their own expense. They’re always saying ‘yes’, even when deep inside they want to say ‘no’. It seems like a selfless act, doesn’t it? On the contrary, it’s a selfish one. How? You may ask.

• You rob the world of your gifts and talents by staying in a job you hate
• If you don’t correct someone who keeps crossing your boundaries, you’re not helping them to become a better person by being more sensitive to the people around them
• If you keep sacrificing your health to help other people, eventually you’ll become a burden to other people

Have you ever wondered why the air hostess asks you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping your children in case of an emergency? You can’t help them if you’re out of breath. Similarly, you can’t effectively help other people if you continue to martyr yourself for their sake.

A little over a year ago, I made the decision to leave the management of a family business. It took me a couple of years to finally make that decision. Why did I struggle to leave? Approval. What would my father say? How would my siblings react? What would my other relatives think? Would my husband understand?

The reality was, I was struggling and I was miserable. I didn’t feel like I was adding value to the business at the time. I also had this nudging feeling that my life was designed for a different path. The most important questions I should have been asking myself are, ’Would I be happy doing this for the rest of my life?’, ‘Does this align with my purpose?’ ‘Am I adding value to the people in the company?’

Are you struggling with approval addiction? You might think not. Try asking that hard boss for the raise you think you deserve. Or tell your spouse that you need to talk because something in your marriage has made you unhappy for a while. Think about all the major decisions you have made or have to make in the near future and you might be surprised. How do you deal with this?

• You teach people how to treat you, so treat yourself with the respect you expect from other people
• Change your inner dialogue. There’s a voice inside you that keeps telling you that you’re not good enough. Remind yourself that you’re amazing, creative, talented, beautiful and made in the image of God.
• Give yourself approval. What do you like about yourself? And no, that’s not being selfish or arrogant.

It might be uncomfortable or even painful at first, but in the long run, the people around you will start to appreciate your honesty and courage. This will not only make your life better, but it will make theirs better as well.